i don't want to tell you that you're better then them...but...you are.

i stole this format from livejournal's writers block prompt for yesterday, actually. a letter to my "younger" self; what would i say? i'm going to go ahead and assume that "younger" means like...10-11.

~ trust your instincts- as absurd as they might seem sometimes, they're always going to be right. you'll prove this to yourself time...and time...and time and time again, and continue to question those gut emotions when they come out, unwillingly, usually. but you should really quit this habit of questioning yourself early, because it will never result in much of anything, except for countless nights of you laying in bed staring at your ceiling whispering "i knew it...i just knew it." to yourself.
that's the biggest, most important point, as it sums up exactly what you did wrong during most of your siginificant fuck ups throughout the years. but more specifically?

...spend more time with pop-pop; you'll never guess or understand what happens to him. don't listen to mom, all the time, because she's often wrong, but listen to her sometimes, especially in regaurds to family matters. spend more time with lenny and forgive him, because as soon as you start to really depend on him, 8 years down the road, he'll leave. it will break your heart worse then any boyfriend dumping you.
don't chase those "damaged" boys- you know, the ones with mommy and daddy issues, drug/drinking dependencies, the ones in the bands, with the "creative" minds, but absolutely twisted, borderline bipolar thought patterns (x3).

i don't know..don't let the monatony, or worse/better, the unpredictable patters your life will progress in, get you down. at age 19, i still can't balance it. maybe things would've worked more smoothly, had i learned to balance this at a younger age. i guess you never know.